Recent Reads V. 4

Parenting from the Inside Out, by Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell

As someone who studied and practiced counseling, I’m familiar with the concept that our pasts shape who we are. The hurts and traumas of our past can trickle into our present in subtle, covert and blatant ways. I’ve surely been experiencing this in my own journey of parenthood. Something about becoming a parent often triggers memories of one’s own childhood. In this book, the authors emphasize the importance of parents tackling and working through their traumas, past and pain in order to have a deep understanding of themselves so that they can parent with compassion and understanding. There were large portions of the book that were scientific research on neurobiology or attachment theory (which honestly I skimmed through) but the overall take-away from the book was, until I understand myself, I won’t be in the best position to fully understand and embrace my child.

I personally enjoyed Daniel Siegel’s “The Whole-Brain Child” much more and would recommend it more but this book was on a topic I feel very strongly about.

Atomic Habits, by James Clear

This was one I listened to on Audible and I loved it! It has definitely been recommended by many influencers and I can see why. James Clear talks about how what sets the “extraordinary” apart from the “ordinary” is not in goal-setting but habits, how making tiny changes can have remarkable results. He uses many famous people in sports, entertainment, arts as examples and provides practical strategies on how to form good habits. The point I found most interesting was how the author said that habits can be thought of as layers: outcome-based habits, process-based habits and identity-based habits. The deepest and most significant changes occur when we adopt identity-based habits: rather than saying, “I want to lose weight” (outcome), or “I’m going to exercise 3-4 times a week to lose weight” (process), thinking and believing “I am an athlete, the type of person who exercises every day” is so much more profound. We often are stuck because of the core beliefs we hold about ourselves.

I feel like this may be one I will revisit in the future and definitely recommend you all to read it!

The Moment of Lift, by Melinda Gates

Hands down the best book I’ve read this year thus far. And dare I say life-changing.

Koreans often tell pregnant women to think happy thoughts, to eat pretty things… With that in mind, this book would not have been considered a “good choice” but I believe I was ordained to read it. I picked it up not knowing exactly what I was getting myself into and shortly after finding out we’re expecting a baby girl. Having gone to a women’s college (Go Smith!) and having studied at various graduate universities, I’ve grown a heart for cross-cultural studies and have become passionate about gender equality issues. So I thought I knew a thing or two, but I was so humbled by this book. I had my eyes opened to so much more.

At times, I was enraged all over again by the systemic injustice against women. At times, my heart broke hearing about the lives of brave women who shared their stories with Melinda Gates. At times, I became distraught at the thought of bringing a baby girl into a world that is so unfair to girls and women. But I was also filled with an immense sense of hope when I learned about what the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation does, their urgency to help women and children all over the world, their outpouring of resources to do anything and everything they can to help worldwide.

I’m always up for book recommendations so please leave any below in a comment!

Recent Reads V. 3

The Read-Aloud Family, by Sarah Mackenzie

I obviously love to read. Thus the start of this series to document and share my recent reads. But I didn’t always. I wasn’t one of those kids with her nose buried in a book, secretly reading under the covers with a flashlight after lights-out. On the contrary, I actually remember hating to read. But somewhere between then and now, I grew a love of nestling myself in a blanket with a warm drink and a book in hand.

This book talks about how reading to our children brings connection, gives us points of references with one another, and even helps us through hard times. It wasn’t a new concept for me. In my childhood practicum course in grad school we talked about “bibliotherapy” - the use of books to help children through their problems.

As parents, we have dreams, hopes, visions for our children - that they will become kind, smart, well-adjusted individuals. And apparently, reading to them is the answer! This book shares the many, many benefits of reading to our children at all ages and offers practical advice and even book recommendations.

Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy, by Angela Garbes

During my first pregnancy with J, I read up a lot on natural birth and in the process, learned about the history of midwifery and how “modern medicine” changed the landscape of pregnancy, labor and delivery. This book delved into that as well as how women “weren’t just driven out of the field of health care, they were also actively excluded from accessing medical education”. The author talks about how every woman’s experience in pregnancy is unique and the importance of access to information for women to make informed decisions. It was fascinating learning about the history of the medicalization of pregnancy and birth and how that has in someway shape or form influenced us all in the way we think about it now.

In my recent post about first trimester woes I included some of my favorite quotes from this book

“There’s no right or wrong way to be pregnant, to become a mother, to make a family. There is only one way-your way, which will inevitably be filled with tears, mistakes, doubt, but also joy, relief, triumph, and love.”

The author emphasizes the need for diversity of perspective and stories when it comes to pregnancy, labor, birth and motherhood. It empowered me to keep sharing mine.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed, by Lori Gottlieb

I had heard about this book through the grapevine and was curious about a memoir about a therapist and her therapist. But as the waitlist for this book at my local library was so long, I decided to listen to it on audio.

I felt like she approached therapy in a relatable way - touching on psychotherapy terms and concepts but not in a textbooky way. And her portrayal of “case studies” were more vignettes, letting you into her therapy sessions, her clients’ lives and hers in such a raw, vulnerable but personable way. I especially found the parallels between the author’s clients and her own experience with her therapist very interesting. There were moments I chuckled to myself and moments when I teared up.

Recent Reads

My childhood friend, Christine has a blog (one I’ve been a big fan of for years). Not only does she beautifully capture her life, her family and her adventures, she has a series called “What I’m Reading” that serves as a constant inspiration for more reading, which I always welcome.

Lately, I’ve found myself talking incessantly about a book I recently finished. So rather than talking off the ears of any friends that will listen, I thought I’d do my own version of “What I’m Reading”.

Rich People Problems, by Kevin Kwan

This year, I began listening to books on Audible and boy, has it been the best thing ever! This one was one I listened to. It’s the third book in the Crazy Rich Asians triology. Ever since I read Crazy Rich Asians and heard it was going to be made into a movie, I anxiously awaited for it to premiere here in Korea. With a little one, it’s not always easy to find the opportunity to catch a showing but Y and I made it happen before they stopped showing it here in Korea. Since, I have listened to China Rich Girlfriend and most recently, Rich People Problems. It was hilarious, having me chuckle to myself, legit laugh out loud. There was a hint of mystery and suspense but nothing too crazy. I enjoy the details of fashion, jewelry and travels interwoven in Kevin Kwan’s books. This book left me desperately wanting to travel to Singapore.

The Gratitude Diaries, by Janice Kaplan

I found out about this book through one of my favorite YouTubers, MKTV. (She’s a famous lecturer/motivational speaker here in Korea and I’ve been recently watching a lot of her videos for inspiration but also to study Korean.) Janice Kaplan embarks on a year-long gratitude project and shares how it changed her life. This book was the perfect mixture of research and anecdotes. I thoroughly enjoyed it and felt challenged by her personal stories. Gratitude, like any practice, takes just that, practice. But once we begin to build that gratitude muscle, it becomes easier and easier. And it can literally changes your body, your health! And the best thing? Gratitude is contagious! This is the book I’ve been nonstop talking about to many around me and I don’t think I’ll stop anytime soon. (More posts about Gratitude to come!)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, by J.K. Rowling

This is one I’m currently listening to. But technically, it’s a re-read. It’s a perfect fit for the season with October (and Halloween) approaching. I have a confession. I never finished reading/watching the Harry Potter series. And every time I mean to, I tell myself I’ll start from the beginning to do it “justice”. So here it goes! I love this world that J.K. Rowling created. I’m curious as to what it’ll be like to reread this as an adult.

*** [If you have read any of these, let me know your thoughts! Also, feel free to share any book recommendations! Comment on the post!]